Switched
by portalkeeper
Summary: B/S - PG13 for mild language. Begins summer before S6 and S2. Willow tries to bring back Buffy. Add Buffybot and a little time travel to the mix...
1. Prologue

A/N: I love Buffybot! I got a sudden impulse to write a Buffybot-goes-back-in-time story, so here goes! Possible B/S later on. (**Not** Buffybot/Spike!!)

Summary: Set in the summer before Season 6 and the very beginning of Season 2. Willow tries another spell to bring Buffy back, only things don't quite go the way they're supposed to…

Prologue

2001-Summer—Restfield Cemetery

The Scooby gang strode through the cemetery, dispatching newly risen vampires. Last stop.

"That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!" the small blond girl shouted happily as she drove a stake through a vamp that was rushing her.

The red-haired witch smiled brightly. "See? New quip."

"Thank you, Willow. You're my best friend. And you're gay."

Willow smiled sideways at another blond girl and squeezed her hand. "You've got that right, Bottie."

The dark-haired boy cleared his throat. "So what now? Are we just going to do this all summer? Patrol with the Bot? Sooner or later the demons are going to figure it out."

The girl at his side tugged on his arm. "It's alright, Xander. We can have lots and lots of sex when we get home. Besides, you look all manly when you patrol." She smiled up at him.

The others began to laugh and tease the now-red-faced Xander. All but Willow.

The witch had a pensive look in her eyes. Then a flicker of an idea passed through her green eyes. No one noticed the firm determination on her features as they set off for 1630 Revello Drive.

***

1997-Summer—Highway outside LA

The middle-aged man glanced at his teenage daughter in the passenger seat. "Do you have all your stuff?"

The blond girl, who had been staring off gloomily into space, jerked up. "Yeah, Dad." She smiled. "Thanks for all the shoes."

The man smiled back and turned to the road. "You sure you want to go back so soon?"

The blond girl rolled her eyes. "Dad, school starts in less than twenty-four hours."

There was a stretch of silence. The girl stared out the window, a distant look in her hazel eyes.

"Buffy, do you want to talk to me? Is there anything bothering you?"

"Huh?" Buffy snapped her head back towards her father. "Oh, no. Everything's fine."

"If you say so," Hank Summers replied with a sigh.

30 miles to Sunnydale. 


	2. When She Was Bad Part 1

2001-Summer

"Hello, Dawn, my sister!" Buffybot said happily, giving the teen a hearty hug. Dawn smiled back. 

"Hey, Bottie. Have a good night out?"

"Yes, a very good night. I slayed two vampires all by myself!" Buffybot said happily.

"Well, that's great," Dawn replied, then glanced over at the blond vampire in the corner. "Right, Spike?"

"Right. I'll be going now, Nibblet, seeing how Red and Glinda are home." He pushed off from the wall and headed out the door. "Bye, Bit."

"Goodbye, Spike!" Buffybot said loudly. "Visit again soon!"

The vampire kept walking, not sparing her a glance.

Buffybot felt sad. "Did I do something wrong?"

"Oh no," Dawn said quickly. "Not at all."

Willow walked down the stairs. "Bottie, time for a recharge."

Buffybot followed Willow cheerfully up the stairs, problems forgotten.

Dawn watched her walk happily away. She sighed and closed her eyes, leaning against the wall.

"Miss you, Buffy."

1997-Summer

"Thanks for taking in my stuff, Dad," Buffy said, watching her father carry several heavy suitcases into the house. "Can you tell Mom I had to go out? Thanks."

She left before her father could respond. He shook his head. "Kids these days."

"I know what you mean," Joyce Summers said, moving to stand beside him in the doorway. "But I trust Buffy. She can take care of herself."

2001-Summer

"Tara, I'm going to check up on Buffybot, okay?"

"Sure, sweetie. Don't be too long." Willow gave Tara a smile and walked over to the room next door. Her smile faded.

Willow hated lying. Especially to Tara. But the blond witch had expressed her views on resurrection spells. She wouldn't like what Willow now attempted to do. Especially as this was an ancient spell, a bit unstable and hard to control. But Willow could do it. She could.

In the only room devoid of human interference, Willow began her spell.

"Let the spirits bring back the warrior that is lost." She took out a small plastic bag of herbs and scattered them on the ground. Buffy's room. Willow hoped the location of the spell would help hone it.

"Let them send back the warrior of the people. I call on you…" Willow trailed off, her eyes black. She no longer said the words aloud, but the aura of energy around the red-haired witch began to increase.

Images were flying past Willow's eyes. Images of a baby girl. An infant with a bottle. A baby learning to walk. A toddler. First day of kindergarten. Elementary school. Blond pigtails. Parents arguing at night. Middle school. Trying on lipstick. Shopping. Shoes. High school. Boys. Cheerleading. School gym. Fire. 

"Willow? What are you doing?" Buffybot asked innocuously, sitting up and disconnecting her wires. Recharge complete. "Willow?"

Divorce. Moving. Sunnydale. The library. The Bronze. The Master. 

Willow's eyes glowed brighter and brighter. She didn't hear Buffybot at all.

"Willow?" Buffybot gingerly touched the witch's shoulder.

LA. Shopping. Shoes. Sunnydale—

Willow jerked, startled. She saw it was only Buffybot.

FLASH!

The blond girl staring back at Willow wasn't the bot. She was younger-looking, for one. And human.

"Will? When did you cut your hair? Wait a second, where am I?"

"Your room," Willow replied, numb. The spell had worked! Only it hadn't brought back the Buffy from last spring. No, Buffybot had gotten in the way. 

Willow suddenly realized something. "Oh, no…"

"My room?" Buffy looked around. "Okay, some minor redecorating. No biggie, aside from the random teleportation." Buffy spun around and glared at her friend. "What did you do to me?!"

The witch took in a deep breath. "It's sort of um, complicated…"

The door opened. "Willow, what are you doing in there? Can you adjust Bottie's volume?"

"Uh, hey, Dawnie," Willow said meekly.

"Bottie looks different," Dawn commented.

"Who are you?" Buffy asked. A tall teenager with long, brown hair was in her bedroom.

1997

Buffybot blinked and looked around. She was outside, a block away from 1630 Revello Drive. Now, how did she get here? Did Willow erase her short-term memory again?

Buffybot shrugged and continued happily to the house. 

"Buffy, how was your first day back?" a voice called from within. Buffybot stood still a moment, then the voice registered. It belonged to Joyce Summers, the biological mother of Buffy A. Summers.

"Mom! It's great to see you," Buffybot said brightly. She gave the surprised woman a hug. "How was the business trip out of town?"

Joyce just looked confused. "Uh…business trip? What business trip? You were the one gone all summer, Buffy."

Buffybot frowned. "Oh. Willow must have erased my short-term memory again."

It was now Joyce's turn to frown. "Willow? Your friend Willow?"

"Yes. Willow is my best friend. And she's recently gay," Buffybot quipped happily. "Where is Dawn, my sister?" Without waiting for a reply, Buffybot turned to go.

"Dawn? Who's Dawn?" Joyce asked. But Buffybot had gone upstairs. "Buffy? You don't have a sister," Joyce called after her.

Buffybot looked around. Her room was different. Maybe Willow or Dawn had changed it? Or maybe the other Buffy had rearranged it?

Not needing sleep, Buffybot nevertheless lay done flat on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Dawn had insisted she "slept" and had occasionally come to her, because she was her sister, of course!

After many minutes passed, Buffybot heard a tap on the window. 

"Spike! It must be Spike!" Buffybot said happily to herself.

Buffybot was deeply disappointed to see that it was in fact not Spike at her window.

"Mind if I come in?" Angel asked.

Buffybot frowned. "You're Angel."

Angel frowned. "Yes, it's me." He slipped through the window. "How are you?"

"I'm functioning within given parameters. And you?" Willow had taught Bottie to be polite, even to people she didn't like.

"I-I'm fine. Buffy, are you sure you're okay? You don't sound very…well, normal."

Buffybot frowned again. "You're lame. Your hair grows straight up, and you're bloody stupid."

Angel felt his hair and frowned, deciding to look into that later. "D-did I do something?"

Buffybot shook her head and smiled brightly. "Please get to the point of this conversation, as I don't like you and would like you to leave."

Angel shook his head slightly, then cleared his throat. "Alright. The Anointed One. He's been gathering forces somewhere in town. I'm not sure why."

"You wouldn't would you? Angel, you're bloody stupid," Buffybot said sweetly.

"Don't underestimate the Anointed One just because he looks like a child. He has power over the rest of them. They'll do anything for him," Angel said, trying to ignore the blond Slayer. Was this just one of "those days?"

"Thank you, Angel. You have been very helpful. I'll go tell Willow."

Angel was now even more confused. "Shouldn't you be telling Giles?"

"Guy-iles? Oh yes, he's my Watcher. But Willow will tell him. Now please go."

Buffybot turned around and laid back down on the bed, eyes open and staring at the ceiling blankly.

Angel was thoroughly puzzled. "Uh…okay. Goodnight, Buffy. Sorry…I've missed you."

He turned to go. Something was off about the Slayer. Not just the way she acted. Something fundamental…something was off.

2001

"So you've transported me to the future," Buffy said slowly. "Can I ask why?"

"Well, um, you see…it's a long story," Willow said lamely. Tara, Dawn, Buffy, and Willow were gathered in the Summers' kitchen. Willow was confessing her little spell. "A long story we can't tell you because then you'll know what happens in the future, which will mess up the past, which is your present, so who knows what might happen in the future? Which is our present." 

"Glad to see you still babble, Wills," Buffy said with a slight smile. She turned and regarded Tara and Dawn. "Now, who are you people? And where's Mom?"

Dawn bit her lip.

"Tara's my girlfriend," Willow said nervously. "And Dawn…Dawn is your sister."

"No way!"

FLASH!

"Hello, Dawn, Willow, Tara. What am I doing here?"

Tara sent Willow a questioning look. "Is your spell undone?"

Willow furrowed her brows. "Uh…I don't know. I mean, the spell was pretty vague. But I don't think this is it."

Buffybot looked around. "Where is Joyce Summers, my biological mother?"

Dawn stood abruptly and ran up to her room, shutting the door with a bang.

"Is Dawn upset?" Buffybot asked, concerned.

"No, no, it's okay," Willow assured. "Nothing to worry about. Bottie, why don't you tell me who you met and what you did just now?"

1997

Buffy walked into the Bronze. Okay, that was a weird and unsettling experience last night. Her mom seemed to think she went nuts or something. Asked her if she wanted to take a day off from school.

She shook her head. From what Willow…the other Willow…said, somebody else got sent back to her time. Did that mean the Buffy of the future had been here?

Lost in her thoughts, the Slayer barely noticed the tall, brooding man who made his way over to the door.

"Hi," Angel said hesitantly. The way he talked, not really looking into her eyes and keeping a two-foot berth, was really annoying her.

"So, is there danger at the Bronze? Should I beware?"

"I can't help thinking I've done something to make you angry. And that bothers me more than I'd like," he admitted, ignoring her comment. Whatever had felt "off" before was back to normal.

"I'm not angry. I don't know where you get that from. It's not like you even came to see me last night. I mean—"

"What are you talking about, Buffy? I went to your house last night. You-you said my hair was stupid." Without giving her a chance to say anything, Angel continued. " Why are you avoiding me? What are you afraid of? Me? Us?"

Buffy was about to explain, but him just assuming that everything was about him…"Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? There's no 'us'. Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you, but I didn't. I moved on. To the living."

Buffy pushed past him and joined Willow and Xander at their table.

"Hey!"

"Hi," Willow replied.

"Hey," Xander said.

"What's wrong with Angel?" Willow asked. 

Buffy shrugged. "Beats me." She turned to Xander. "Let's dance."

"Oookay…" Buffy grabbed him and dragged him to the dance floor. They began dancing, Buffy practically grinding against poor, confused Xander. Angel watched with narrowed eyes from the back corner.

FLASH!

Buffybot blinked.

"Woah, Buff, did you see that flash of light?"

Buffybot shoved Xander off. He landed on a small table ten feet away.

Angel smirked and slid off through the crowd. Looks like Xander wasn't enough man for his Buffy after all. He headed off into the night. Must reapply hair gel.

"No one can touch me like that except for my Spike!" Buffybot declared. "If you weren't my friend, Xander, I might hurt you."

"Ow," Xander groaned, climbing to his feet. "Glad to be your friend."

Buffybot smiled widely. "You are." She ignored the gathering crowd, instead searching the tables.

"Willow!" she shouted happily. "Willow, the most strange things are happening to me. I think something may be wrong with my programming."

Willow's mouth was still open in shock. "B-buffy! What did you do to Xander?!"

Buffybot frowned. "He was not acting properly, within parameters defined for 'friend'. Only Spike can touch me like that."

Willow's shock turned to confusion. "Huh?"

"That's not important right now. Where's Spike?"

2001

"I thought that wasn't going to happen again," Buffy complained. "The future Buffy, or whoever you sent back, is messing up my life! Mom thinks I'm crazy and I think she talked to Angel, too. Now everyone thinks I should be institutionalized."

Willow smiled awkwardly. "Well, the good thing about this is, I've figured out the spell. It should have been a permanent switch, but when Buffybot—er, Buffy, got in the way, the energies for the spell were thrown off, destabilized. So the two of you are sort of bound together, in a way. Lots of visits and switches back and forth. Sorry."

"Do you know how to end this…spell?"

Willow nodded vigorously. "Oh, yes! It's simple, really. All I need is to get this crystal. Anya helped me look up the Crystal of Zoth. We ordered it online." Her smile faded a little.

"What? Where's the catch, Will?" Buffy asked nervously. 

"Well…it's out of stock. It'll get here…oh, I don't know…maybeinsixmonths."

"What was that?"

"Six months. Possibly. At latest."

Buffy's jaw dropped open. "WILL—"

"I'm here to look after the Bit," a voice said. "So you Scoobies can go patrolling now."

Buffy spun around, glaring into a pair of piercing blue eyes. "And just who are you?"


	3. When She Was Bad Part 2

A/N: Sorry about the slow updates! I've got a lot to do right now, mainly school and orchestra-related. But I'll try to update as soon as I can! And this story is far from over.

2001

Buffy spun around, glaring into a pair of piercing blue eyes. "And just who are you?"

Spike frowned, cocked his head. His eyes went wide. "Bloody hell…"

Buffy frowned, feeling the familiar tingle go up her spine. She couldn't believe how she had missed it before. "You're a vampire."

Spike's shocked amazement turned to confusion. "Well, yeah. That I am. But what really seems to be the issue here isn't exactly _me_, pet." He shot an angry look at Willow. "What did you do?"

Willow held up her hands, pleadingly. "I'm sorry, Spike. I didn't mean to…well, I did, but that's not the point. My spell…I screwed up. Big time. This Buffy…she's from 1997. She and Buffybot—I mean, _our_ Buffy—switched places. They switched back for several hours, now they've switched again."

"I see. Thinking about breaking this spell anytime soon, Red?" There was just a hint of menace in his words.

Willow cringed. "Well, the good news is I know the counter-spell."

"And the bad?" 

"It's going to take a while."

"Meaning…"

"Hey," Buffy said, getting a little annoyed. They were talking about her as if she wasn't even in the room. "First of all, that's great. Now, who the hell are you?" she demanded of the blond vampire.

He smirked slightly. "Don't recognize me? Oh, come on. 1997, that's…" His smirk faded. "Bloody. Hell."

"What?" Buffy demanded. "What about 1997?"

Spike gave her a long look. "When in 1997 are you from?"

Buffy wrinkled her nose. "First few days of school. Why?"

Spike groaned. "Holy shi—"

FLASH!

"Hi Willow. Spike! I was looking all over for you. Xander tried to touch me very inappropriately, but I showed him that it was wrong," Buffybot said happily. "Only you may touch me in—"

"What did you do to Xander?" Willow interrupted.

Buffybot smiled widely. "I removed his hands from my body."

Spike cocked an eyebrow.

"She threw him across the room," Willow translated, groaning. "Bottie, remember our little talk? No tossing people around."

Buffybot's smile wavered a bit. Then she brightened. "Oh! I saw Angel again. He's lame."

"Again?" Willow asked anxiously. "What do you mean, 'again?'"

"He came into my bedroom last night. I thought it was Spike, but it was really Angel. He's bloody stupid. I told him to go away. Oh! And he said something about, 'don't underestimate the Anointed One just because he looks like a child. He has power over the rest of them. They'll do anything for him.'"

Willow paled. "Oh, crap."

Spike snorted. "What, the Ever-Annoying One? No need to worry about him."

Willow shook her head. "No, this is…this is bad. Buffy was supposed to get that message. It was part of what allowed her to be able to stop them from resurrecting the Master, which was what the Anointed One was trying to do. He came really close to succeeding, capturing me, Cordelia, Giles, and Miss Calendar. If Buffy had been just a moment late…" She trailed off.

Spike frowned. "Wait a minute. So, what you're saying is, the Bot here screwed the timeline. The Master gets resurrected?"

Willow grimaced. "Not if we stop it." She took a deep breath and turned to Buffybot. "Okay, Bottie, here's what you need to do…"

1997

Buffy sighed. She was in the library, after school. Giles had called some sort of meeting, about something bad about to happen. Something vague.

Before he could speak, a rock crashed through a window.

"Whoa!" Xander yelled.

Buffy caught the rock in her hands. It has a note wrapped around it and kept in place with a bracelet. A familiar bracelet.

"This is Cordelia's. 'Come to the Bronze before it opens, or we make her a meal.'" The implications of the message began to sink in. Cordelia was in trouble. Buffy didn't know who or what was causing it, just that someone knew who she was and was willing to kill a friend—okay, an acquaintance—to get her attention.

"They're gonna cook her dinner?" A pause. "I'll pretend I didn't say that," Xander commented.

"What do we do?" Willow asked nervously.

"I go to the Bronze and save the day," Buffy answered. 

"I don't like this," Xander said.

"Nor I!" Giles agreed.

Buffy had enough. This was not exactly a good time for her, having dreams about the Master and being yanked back and forth to the future. 

"Yeah? Well, you guys aren't going."

2001

"Bottie, do you understand?" Willow asked. 

Buffybot nodded. "Yes, Willow."

Willow smiled. "Good girl. Now, I'm going to do a sort of glamour, just in case someone notices you're not human. You know, the whole no heartbeat deal can give you away."

Buffybot nodded again and smiled widely. "Of course, Will—"

FLASH!

Buffy blinked. One second she was walking to the Bronze with Angel, the next…

This place again.

"Where's Angel?" she demanded. This was supposedly the future, right? She couldn't think of a future without Angel.

Willow sighed. "He's in LA," she said. "That's the important thing right now. Where were you? Just now, before coming here, that is."

Buffy was puzzled. Angel was in LA? Why? Was he currently tracking a demon or something? She'd be sure to ask this Willow about it later.

"We were going to the Bronze, me and Angel. We got Cordelia's bracelet and a message—"

"It's a trap," Willow interrupted. "Cordy's not at the Bronze."

Now Buffy was even more puzzled. "Okay, so what…"

Willow sighed again. "It's a long story. Buffybo—our Buffy, that is, went back and dealt with some things you were supposed to go through. Learned some information you were supposed to know. So here's the basic gist…"

1997

"Buffy, are you sure about this?" Angel asked for the millionth time. "Shouldn't we be going to the Bronze, or back to the library at least?"

Buffybot paid him no heed. The warehouse. Willow had given her directions to the warehouse. And Angel was too bloody stupid to understand even if she was allowed to explain. Which she was not. Willow had told her she couldn't tell anyone she wasn't the Buffy everyone thought she was. Buffybot didn't realize understand what Willow meant by "time travel", but Willow was really smart. Buffybot trusted her.

"Now be quiet," she whispered to Angel. "Stay here until I say you can come in."

She disappeared into the warehouse, leaving Angel extremely puzzled about this change of events.

2001

"So the Anointed One was actually going to resurrect the Master? No wonder I had all those dreams," Buffy exclaimed.

Dawn, the strange girl who everyone claimed was her sister, slid into the seat next to her. The brunette teenager smiled shyly. "Hey."

Buffy gave her a warm but wary smile in return.

"Uh, Buffy? So you know what to do, if you get back before Bottie—our Buffy—does the job?"

Buffy nodded. "Yep. Grind the Master's bones into powder." She grinned, looked around conspiratorially. "By the way, who's that peroxide-head? Does he have a soul like Angel?"

Willow hesitated. According to this Buffy's history, Spike and Drusilla were about to show up in town.

"No, of course not!" Dawn exclaimed. "Spike is _way_ cooler than Angel."

Buffy was confused. "So…why does he help you guys?"

Neither Dawn nor Willow answered, just gave each other looks.

1997

"So…how'd you know about the prophecy?" Willow asked. "And how did you know where we were kept?" The Scooby gang was walking back to the library, ready to check up on Xander. Angel hung around behind the group, brooding.

Buffybot smiled happily. "Willow told me."

Willow blinked. "Uh, no, I didn't."

Buffybot continued smiling. "No, not you, Willow. The other Willow. She told me that the other Buffy should have talked to stupid Angel and found out about the evil plan by the evil vampires. And then the other Buffy would have saved everyone." She gave the surprised Willow a hug. "You're my best friend." She didn't let the redhead go.

"Uh, okay…Buffy, are you _sure_ you're feeling alright?"

FLASH!

Buffy pulled away. "Wills, why are you hugging me?"

"Hey, I'm not the one—"

Buffy looked around. "Giles, Miss Calendar, Cordy. Angel, what are you doing all the way over there? Seeing that you guys are bruised but otherwise okay, I'm guessing I beat up the Master's groupies and saved the day?"

With that, Buffy strolled away, back home for the night.

Leaving behind a very puzzled group of Scoobies.


	4. Some Assembly Required Part 1

2001

Buffybot was happy. Willow had let her go grocery shopping. That was a very big responsibility, after all. Something only done by the most trustworthy.

Buffybot had everything she could ask for, loving friends, a little sister. If only Spike would smile at her again, or have wild monkey sex with her in his crypt…

FLASH!

Buffy stumbled, dropping a brown paper bag. A carton of eggs fell out, cracking open on the pavement.

"Oh crap." She looked around. "Now where's my yo-yo?"

1997

Buffybot blinked. It was suddenly night and she was in a graveyard. Sitting on a headstone.

And her yo-yo wouldn't come up. Darn.

Buffybot sighed unhappily. Darn that yo-yo!

"Hey," a voice said from behind her.

It was an annoying voice, reminiscent of hair gel and stupidity.

"Angel."

"Is this a bad time?"

Buffybot thought hard. "Yes, it is. You are here, talking to me. I don't like you, but I am forced to spend time with you, nevertheless."

Angel sighed and lowered his head. "Look, Buffy, I'm sorry for whatever I did. But you didn't need to practically…mate…with Xander on the dance floor."

Buffybot frowned. "I did not mate with Xander. He's my friend. I am incapable of producing biological offspring, thus I do not 'mate.'"

Angel sighed again. "Whatever. It's okay, Buffy. I know you only did it to make me jealous. Besides," he added with a smirk. "I saw what happened after. He wasn't man enough for you."

Buffybot smiled cheerfully. "Of course not. Only Spike is man enough for me!"

Angel frowned. "Spike? You aren't talking about the same Spike I think you're talking about, are you? No, of course not. You don't know Spike. Buffy, who are you talking about?" 

Angel was thoroughly confused.

Buffybot was about to respond when a vampire broke out of his grave from behind. Buffybot searched her pockets. "Where is Mr. Pointy?"

Angel frowned again. "You _named_ your stake?"

While Buffybot searched for her favorite stake, the newly risen vampire grabbed a shovel from the ground and whacked Angel on the head.

Finally finding a stake on the ground (which wasn't Mr. Pointy, but which would have to do for now), Buffybot calmly regarded the vamp and the grave he had come out of.

"You shouldn't have done that, Mr. Stephan Korshak," Buffybot said brightly. "Now your shovel is most likely bent out of shape by Angel's stupid hair." With that, she ducked a thrust of the shovel and plunged her stake into the vampire. "That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, bingo!"

Angel groaned and climbed up to his feet, rubbing his head. Miraculously, his hair still stood straight up, despite being flattened by a shovel. "What? Buffy, what did you say?"

Buffybot ignored him. "Is there something else you are going to say? Please speak, then you can go to LA, Angel."

"Look, Buffy, I don't know what I did—"

"If you are just going to talk all night, I'm going to leave. I have a job to do. Vampires of the world, beware!"

Buffy turned and walked away…only to fall into an open grave. Angel ran to the edge, peering in.

"Oh, dear me! I didn't notice—"

FLASH!

Angel blinked, staring down at a very annoyed Buffy.

"What the hell am I doing in a open grave?" Buffy yelled. "Is this some kind of sick joke?"

She climbed out, ignoring Angel's attempts to help.

"Spike is much nicer than you," she muttered, leaving the graveyard.

Angel frowned. Buffy was truly very confusing. And who exactly was this "Spike" she kept talking about? He only knew one person who went by that name, and he was last seen somewhere in Europe with Drusilla.

2001

Buffybot blinked. She had a bottle of opened nail polish in her hands. Pearly pink. And she was in the middle of painting Dawn's fingernails.

"Hi, Dawn. I'm back!" she said happily.

Dawn gave Buffybot a strained smile. "That's great, Bottie." She took the bottle of polish and recapped it.

"They were out of 'Purple Passion,'" a masculine voice announced from the doorway. "So I got the…"

Buffybot jumped up happily. "Oh Spike! I've missed you so very much! Angel is bloody stupid."

The vampire jumped away. "The Bot is back, then?"

Dawn nodded.

Buffybot grew sad. "You don't like me?"

"Oh no," Dawn said quickly. "We like you. It's just…we were sort of in the middle of doing something with the other Buffy. But we could always do that another time."

"I love you," Buffybot said, giving Dawn a hug. "You're my sister."

She turned to the doorway. "And I love you too—"

The vampire was gone.

1997

Buffy and Xander walked into the library, only to come across a very strange scene.

Giles cleared his throat. "W-w-w-what I'm proposing is, um... and I-I don't mean to appear indecorous, is, is, um, a, a-a-a social engagement, um, a, a, a, a-a date, if you're amenable." He paused, staring at the empty chair. "You idiot!"

"Boy...I guess we never realized how much you like that chair," Buffy said dryly.

"I-I-I was just working on—" He knocked over a few books.

"Your pickup lines?"

"Um, in a manner of speaking, yes." He bent and picked up the books.

"Then if you wouldn't mind a little Gene and Roger, you might wanna leave off the 'idiot' part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood," Buffy commented.

"Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on," Xander mused, glancing at Buffy.

"I fear you." Buffy walked over to the table. "You also might wanna avoid words like 'amenable' and 'indecorous', you know. Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um..."

"England?" Giles supplied.

"Yeah," Buffy replied. "You just say, 'Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing.'"

"Oh, thank you, Cyrano," Giles interjected sarcastically.

"I'm not finished. Then you say, 'How do you feel about Mexican?'"

"About Mexicans?" Giles was confused.

"Mexican. Food? You take her for food, for which you then pay," Buffy explained, sitting at the table.

"Oh. Right."

So this chair-woman. We are talking Ms. Calendar, right?" Xander asked.

"W-what makes you think that?" Giles asked nervously.

"Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar is reasonably doll-some, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that you're a school librarian, so you don't have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her," said Xander, also sitting down.

"And she's the only woman we've actually ever seen speak to you. Add it all up and it all spells 'duh,'" Buffy added.

"Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?" Xander commented.

"You know, I'm suddenly deciding this is none of your business," Giles remarked, going up the stairs to the stacks.

"You know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen," Xander added.

Giles stopped walking and looked back at them. "So, um, how did things go last night? Did Mr. Korshak show up on schedule?"

"Huh? I mean, yeah, more or less, I guess. I think Angel and I took care of him."

"Angel," Xander said.

Buffy shot him a look. "There's something else, though. I found an empty grave."

"Another vampire?" Giles wondered.

"No. No, this one was dug up and the body was taken out."

"Grave robbing? That's new. Interesting," the Watcher mused.

"I _know_ you meant to say gross and disturbing," Buffy said.

"Yes, yes, yes of course. Uh, terrible thing. Must, must put a stop to it. Damn it."

"So. Why does someone want to dig up graves?" Xander wondered.

"Well, I'll, uh, collect some theories. Uh, it would help if we knew who the body belonged to."

"Meredith Todd. Ring a bell?" Buffy asked.

"No," Xander said with a shrug.

"She died recently. She was Dawn's age. Uh, our age."

"Drawing a blank," Xander replied.

Giles gestured toward the computer. "Why don't we ask Willow to, uh, fire this thing up and, uh, track Meredith down?"

Buffy shrugged. "Sure." She picked up her bag. "Well, I gotta go. See you guys later."

2001

Buffybot made sandwiches. And more sandwiches. And more—

"Um, Bottie, that's probably enough sandwiches," Tara said, coming into the kitchen. Buffybot smiled.

"Okay, Tara. What should I do now?"

"Um, I th-think maybe you could—"

FLASH!

Buffy stared at the piles of peanut butter & jelly sandwiches lying around the kitchen. "Okay, very interesting setup you have here."

Tara gave her a smile. "The other Buffy was making sandwiches."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Is she some type of robot without an 'off' switch?"

Tara gave a weak laugh. "No, not exactly."

Buffy frowned. "What—"

"Hey! Buffy, you're back!" Dawn ran up to the startled Slayer and gave her a hug. "Now we can finish your nails. Spike didn't find the shade you wanted, though."

Buffy smiled at the younger girl's eagerness. "Sure, Dawnie."

1997

No one noticed the flash of light. 

The dark-haired boy flashed another picture of Cordelia.

"Stop it! What are you doing? We are under fluorescent light, for God's sake."

"The camera loves you!" he replied.

"I didn't think yearbook nerds came out of hibernation till spring," she remarked haughtily.

The boy took another picture and winked. "It's for my private collection."

"Eric! Will you quit it?" another boy said.

Buffybot walked over to where Willow stood, by the Science Fair sign-up table. "Hi, Willow! Oooh! I love science!"

Buffybot saw the boy with the camera and gave him a big smile.

"Looking good, Summers," Eric said with a wink. He snapped a succession of pictures.

Buffybot kept on smiling. "Thank you for the compliment. I don't know you. Who are you?"

Eric didn't have a chance to respond as the boy Willow was speaking to dragged him away.

"Uh, hey Buffy. What are you doing here?"

Buffybot looked at the table. "Apparently I am here to sign up for a science fair project. Oooh, I think I'll do robotics."

Willow stared at her friend as she signed herself up on the sign-up sheet.

2001

Buffy chattered away with Dawn about clothes and boys, finding out shocking news about fashions to come.

"Omg! My favorite white jacket is going out by '98? That cost 3 months of allowance!"

Dawn rolled her eyes. To think this was her older, self-righteous sister. She leaned forward conspiratorially. "So, what's the scoop on your guy?"

It was Buffy's turn to roll her eyes. "I don't have a guy."

"I thought you were going with Angel?" Dawn said with a smirk.

Buffy sighed. "I thought I was. Then he started actually like an arrogant son-of-a…um, a not-nice person. A self-involved, egotistical jerk."

Dawn smiled to herself. She'd never liked Angel. "So, any other love interests?"

Buffy blushed. "Um, no! Of course not!"

Dawn giggled. "Yeah, right. Don't forget, I _am_ your sister. I know when you're lying."

Buffy frowned. "Oh yeah, by the way, I don't think anybody exactly explained the whole you're-my-sister deal."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "You know I can't tell you that. Don't try to get off topic. Spill." She leaned forward eagerly, wriggling her newly-pink toes.

A slow smile broke out over Buffy's face. "I know it's not exactly right; I mean, it could never possibly work," she began.

Outside the room, coming up the stairs with a new bottle of "Purple Passion", a vampire suddenly stopped walking.

Dawn rolled her eyes again. "Oh, puh-lease. Like that's ever stopped you?" she muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing. Go on."

"Well, he's been really nice, "Buffy continued. "The times he's around, that is. Really sweet, which is rare to find in a guy. Plus he's hot. Majorly hot."

"And his name would be…"

Buffy glanced around the room. "It's that guy that always hangs around here. Spike."

"I knew it! I knew you had a thing for him!" Dawn squealed as Buffy's face colored again. The girls heard a thump and a yell of, "Oh, bloody hell!" coming from outside.

Buffy paled. "Omg…"

Dawn gulped.

FLASH!


	5. Some Assembly Required Part 2

A/N: I apologize for any Angel-bashings. But they're just so much fun!

1997

Buffy sighed in relief. At least she had snapped back before the confrontation with a certain bleached wonder. 

But she wished that she wasn't sent into the middle of a conversation. And she didn't exactly like what she was hearing.

"So, we dig up some graves tonight?" Xander, the younger Xander of 1997 said.

"Oh, boy! A field trip! Are you gonna call Angel?" the young redhead asked innocently.

Buffy grimaced. The Angel who she hadn't seen once in her future? "I don't think so."

"Yeah, why bother him, huh?" Xander said wryly.

"Angel and I have been, um...never mind. As far as Angel's concerned, I'm taking the night off, okay?" Buffy didn't feel like talking about him at the moment.

"So, we're set then. Say, nine-ish? BYO shovel?"

"And I'll pack some food. Who else likes those little powdered doughnuts?" Willow asked cheerfully.

"Me!" Xander said quickly. Never one to pass up an opportunity for food.

"Cordelia?" Willow asked.

"Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew we were gonna be digging up dead people sooner. I would've canceled."

Buffy frowned. As bitchy as she was, Buffy had sort of missed Cordelia's sarcastic comments in that future world. Where was she anyway?

"Alright, but if you come across the army of zombies, can you page us before they eat your flesh?" Xander asked.

Cordelia narrowed her eyes and stalked out of the library.

"Xander? Zombies don't eat the flesh of the living," Giles commented.

"Yeah, I knew that. But did you see the look on her face?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. Her friends. So goofy.

"I think I'll go home, check up on things there, before we head out tonight," Buffy said. "See you guys later."

Buffy headed out into the darkening gloom, walking rapidly. She wanted to get home—_needed_ to get home. See her mother, maybe talk to Dawn—

No, no Dawn in this world. No one to talk to about the earlier…or later, if you think about it that way…encounter with Spike.

Buffy was so wrapped up in her thoughts she didn't notice the dark figure with the tazer until it was too late.

2001

Spike took another swig of his half-empty bottle of tequila and leaned back into his chair.

He couldn't believe it. After chasing after the Slayer for so long, even getting tortured by a hell-god in the bargain, it was the younger version of Buffy that had fallen for him. Not the one who he had fought with, danced with, pleaded with. Not her, but a sweet little schoolgirl. 

The irony of it was too much. 

He was about to take another drink when the crypt door swung open. In rushed a nervous Dawn.

"Spike! Something's wrong with—" She skidded to a stop and frowned, hands on her hips. "Are you _drunk_?"

Spike shook his head, then immediately regretted the action as the world spun and his head began to pound. "Oh no, not at all, Nibblet. Just had a couple of sips."

Dawn glanced pointedly at the row of empty bottles on the floor. "Right. Anyway, I came to tell you that the switchie thing happened again, just now, and there's something wrong with Buffy. I think she's knocked out or something, which has never happened before. Do you think the spell's getting messed up?" 

1997

"Okay, we're ready to go. Chris? What do you think?"

Christopher Epps stared in horror at the unconscious blond girl on the table.

"What did you do?" he demanded. "We can't just…We can't kill a girl! I thought we agreed to only use the bodies of—"

FLASH!

Buffybot sat up, blinking in the sudden gloom.

"Hello," she said cheerfully. "Where am I?"

Eric frowned, confused. "That was supposed to knock you out for a few more hours," he remarked.

"Where is the tazer?" Chris asked nervously.

Eric shrugged. "Got rid of it. I mean, we have the girl now. What else do we need?" He walked over to the table. "Buffy, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this by force."

She blinked up at him, perplexed. "What is it you wish me to assist in?"

Eric grinned. "Knew you were a good choice. Cooperative, very good. Now, I want you to lie down on the table and hold still while I strap you down."

Buffybot gave him a dazzling grin. "Sure, mister. Who are you?"  


Unfazed by her strange behavior, Eric smiled back. "I'm Eric, don't you remember? Second period, desk two rows behind and to the left."

Buffybot shook her head and continued to grin as she obediently allowed him to strap her to the gurney. "I'm sorry, Eric. My memory files do not recognize you. I don't go to school. But Dawn, my sister, does."

"Summers, you don't have—"

"Buffy!" Chris couldn't believe what was playing out before his eyes.

Buffybot turned and regarded him with another dazzling grin. "Hi, that's me. I'm Buffy! Who are you?"

Chris gave her a strange look. "I'm Chris. Look, that's not the point. What are you doing?! Do you _want_ your head removed?!"

Buffybot's brilliant smile dimmed. "No. Willow said that my head needs to stay on. She said it will be very hard to put back on if I accidentally lose it." She frowned. "You may not take my head."

Eric paused, a very sharp metal instrument in his hands. "Buffy, I'm sorry, but we've got to do this." He looked up at Chris. "Daryl would love her face and bubbly personality."

Buffybot snapped the restraints and calmly got off the gurney. "I am sorry, Eric and Chris. My head is not free for harvesting." She brightened. "Oh! But you could call Warren and ask him to build you a head! He's very good."

"Warren?" Chris asked, frowning. "Oh! The tech-geek."

Buffy gave another dazzling smile, then proceeded to walk out of the basement.

"Wait," Eric said. "How did you get out of those bonds? You can't be human!"

Buffybot turned around and smiled happily. "That's right. I'm a robot."

Then she turned and walked away.

"No!" Eric jammed the knife back onto its tray. "Now we'll never be finished in time."

"That's all right," a voice said from the dark recesses of the basement. A stitched-up figure stepped out. "Now, what was that about a robot?"

Chris flipped open the phone book, relieved that there would be no killing. He flipped to the M's.

2001

Buffy was still somewhat groggy, recounting her story to Willow.

"…And then that creep Eric zapped me and next thing I know, I wake up here," she finished.

Willow was puzzled. That had certainly never occurred in what she could remember. Buffybot must have upset history! She must have done something wrong and gotten everything messed up. Eric was supposed to go after Cordelia, and the Scoobies were supposed to save her at the last moment. And Daryl and the incomplete body were both supposed to perish in the fire that followed.

She said as much to Buffy.

And then realized that it would be poor Buffybot being cut apart. And no one had any clue what was happening, so no one would be able to stop—

FLASH!

Buffybot smiled happily from the couch where Buffy had just disappeared.

"Oh, no! Buffy just went back to get killed," Willow said, distraught.

Buffybot's brilliant grin turned confused. "No one's getting killed, Willow, my best friend."

Willow's jaw continued to drop as she heard the tale of what had occurred in the basement.

1997

Buffy's friends didn't understand why she was dragging them to the house of Chris Epps. 

"But he's such a nice kid," Willow gasped, trying to catch her breath. 

"How's it possible for him to sew up his brother Daryl?" Xander asked. "And how the heck do you even know this stuff?"

Buffy shook her head. "No time. Get ready."

She kicked open the basement entrance. And was extremely surprised to find it completely empty. Neat cardboard boxes, stacked around the walls. Nothing suspicious at all.

"I guess they cleared out," Buffy mused to herself. "Guess the other Buffy knew what she was doing, after all."

She walked away from the house, leaving a very puzzled group of people behind.

"Other Buffy?"

Meanwhile…

Chris knocked on the door, looking at the address. Yep, this was it.

"Hello?" A pleasant-looking middle-aged woman.

Chris smiled. "Hi. Is Warren home?"

2001

"I have to get over there," Spike protested. 

Dawn just gave him a look. "After what happened last time? No. Way." She paused and sniffed the air, wrinkling he nose. "Besides, you're drunk."

The blond vampire groaned. Hostage in his own crypt. Well, not his _own_ crypt, per se. But the crypt he was staying in. Didn't that make it his in a way?

"Now," Dawn said eagerly. "We all know she has a crush on you. The question is: how do you feel about Buffy?"

1997

"B-but I've never finished a robot before," Warren protested. "I'm not sure it would even work—"

"Oh, it _will_ work," the blanket-swathed figure said darkly. "I have it from sources that you have quite a bit of experience in the field."

Warren shook his head desperately, glancing at the two guys in the corner. Chris and Eric showed no sympathy.

"I-I guess it _could_ work," he ventured. "But no guarantees. The robot could only be for a specific function, not really adaptable to a wide range of capabilities."

The cloaked figure nodded. "Fair enough." He paused. "Just make her to love me."

Warren nodded. Now, that just may work. A robot driven by emotion, with total devotion to a single being. He smiled to himself. Maybe after this little assignment he could try to build himself a girl…

Meanwhile…

Buffy couldn't sleep. Closing her eyes, the conversations with her befuddled friends would replay in her head. And then, overlapping their confused faces came another image. A sweet, bleached vampire with cheekbones sharper than a knife and eyes so blue she could practically drown in them…

Buffy drifted off to sleep.

On an interstate highway…

A black 1959 Dodge DeSoto FireFlite roared down the paved road, speeding toward a certain Hellmouth 300 miles away.

A/N: The next chapter might take a slight while to get up. But I promise Spikey-goodness!


	6. School Hard Part 1

A/N: Sorry for the long delay! Next chapter might take a while.

2001

Buffybot hummed happily. Tara was teaching her how to make pancakes today. And she was doing a pretty good job.

"Bottie! They're burning again!" The blond witch yelped, turning off the stove and rushing to put the now-acrid contents under a stream of cold water in the sink.

Buffybot gave her a dazzling smile, completely unfazed. "Should I try again?"

Tara gave her a pained smile. "Maybe later. Why don't you go help Willow?"

Buffybot nodded happily, eager to get onto a new task. Maybe Willow would let her do laundry again. 

FLASH!

Buffy looked around, sighing happily. At least this time she had gotten out of having to talk to principal Snyder. It was amazing what sorts of people they let be principals in these days. Weren't "principals" supposed to be "pals"?

"Buffy! You're back," Dawn said happily, on her way down the stairs. "How've you been?"

Before the Slayer could answer, she found herself being literally dragged up the steps. 

"There's some juicy stuff you need to hear."

1997

"The two of you seem to be tied in the class-cutting and fight- starting events. You really are neck and neck here. It's quite exciting."

Buffybot stared quizzically at the small, rat-like man. There was something instinctively repulsive about him, but of course Buffybot was unfazed.

"What does the winner get?" the bored-looking girl next to her asked, popping her gum.

"Expelled."

Buffybot frowned. This wasn't a very nice man.

"Thursday is Parent-Teacher night. Your parents, assuming you have any, will meet your teachers, assuming you have any left. I've decided to put the two of you in charge of this event. You have three days to prepare the refreshments, make the banners and transform the school lounge into a habitable place for adults. This will incur my good will. And may affect what I tell your parents when I meet them. Are we clear?"

"You're not a very nice man," Buffybot announced, still frowning. "Willow says I have to be nice to everybody, though, even those I don't like."

The other girl gave a low whistle.

The small rat-like man stared at her in disbelief. "What did you say, Miss Summers?"

Buffybot gave him a dazzling smile. "I'm clear."

Snyder blinked, then shook his head. "Good. Because you mess up this time, and your parents will be coming to clean out your lockers. Now get out, both of you. Shoo."

Buffybot gave another dazzling smile, then walked out, followed by Sheila.

"Hi, I'm Buffy. Who are you? And who was that repulsive little man?"

Sheila just gave her a long look. "Whatever you're smoking—"

"Hey," Willow called out, jogging up to meet her friend. Xander followed close behind, his eyes lingering on certain parts of Buffybot's anatomy before he remembered the disastrous results at the Bronze the other day.

"Hey, meatpie!" Sheila yelled, before jogging off. She wrapped herself around an older guy with long hair and began snogging.

Buffybot, Xander, and Willow quickly averted their eyes. 

"Snyder's got you guys making party favors, huh?" Xander asked.

Buffybot gave him a strange look. "What party?"

Willow shrugged. "Don't worry. No one gets Xander's jokes."

"Sheila's definitely intense. That guy with her? That's the guy she _can_ bring home to Mother," Xander said, ignoring her comment.

"She was already smoking in fifth grade. Once I was lookout for her," Willow said almost proudly.

"You're bad to the bone," Xander commented dryly.

"I'm a rebel," Willow agreed.

Buffybot watched the exchange with confusion.

"Smoking is bad," she said helpfully. "Unless you're Spike, of course. He's the Big Bad!"

Willow frowned. "Buffy, there you go again. Who's Spike?" She playfully smacked her on the arm. "Your new boyfriend?"

Buffy gave a dazzling grin. "Spike is the sexiest, baddest, smartest, most gorgeous, coolest, sweetest—"

"We get the idea," Xander said wryly. "But who exactly is this guy?"

Buffy gave another brilliant smile and sighed dreamily. "He's my boyfriend." Then her smile dimmed a little. "But I think he's been avoiding me recently. I think he likes the other Buffy better," she pouted.

Willow frowned. "Other Buffy? What do you mean?"

But Buffybot was already gone.

2001

"He said that?" Buffy asked, blushing to the very roots of her hair.

Dawn giggled, spooning some more chocolate-chip-cookie-dough ice cream into her mouth. "That and much more."

By the end of their conversation, Buffy was a beet. But a glowing beet with the widest smile anyone had ever seen on Buffy's face.

"So are you guys going to get together or something?" Dawn asked happily, before her face fell, the implications sinking in. They couldn't be together, not the undead vampire with a crush on her dead sister and the younger version of said dead sister who kept flashing between two different times. Too much confusion…

Buffy shrugged, feeling sad. Spike was the sweetest guy she had ever met. Sure, she thought she had a thing going with Angel for a while, but he was just so…broody. So tall, dark, and mysterious. All "I'm dark and brooding so give me love." Too wimpy. And his hair stood straight up, now that she thought of it. And she sure didn't spot him hanging around Sunnydale in her future. According to Dawn, he was off in LA with _Cordelia_, of all people. She _knew_ that they had always had a thing for each other.

But Spike was so different. A bad boy on the outside, a total softy on the inside. So easily swayed to participate in manicures, with just a few well-timed pouts. And so very sweet and sensitive, once you got to know him. Such adorable blue eyes, such a sexy accent. Not to mention that really cool hair and cheekbones to die for...

5'10" of major crush-worthy material. But she couldn't have him, right? They were from different times, different places…

Wait a minute. Did that mean she'd meet him someday? Someday in her own future, a future that was already past? Buffy suddenly couldn't wait to have this spell broken once and for all. For a chance to know _her_ Spike, the one she could have.

Buffy blushed. Such thoughts! He wasn't even—

"'Ello."

The blush burned even brighter. Her heart thumped faster and faster. 

"Hey," Dawn greeted with a cheerful smile, giving her a nudge.

"Hi, Spike," Buffy squeaked, causing the younger girl to convulse in a fit of giggles.

The vampire gave the two girls strange looks.

"Right…"

1997

Buffybot looked quizzically at Buffy's notebook. The words on it made no sense. 

"La vache doit me touche de la jeudi?" she asked Willow. "System error, unable to process."

The redhead gave her friend a funny look. "'The cow should touch me from Thursday.' And you said it wrong. Buffy, are you okay? Sure the Bronze is a good idea?"

Buffybot gave her a wide smile. "Oh, yes! I need to communicate and interact with human beings! I must mingle with society and act like a perfectly normal 16-year-old girl."

Willow's look turned to one of pity. "Aw, Buffy, you're trying too hard. You're just not focused. It's Angel miss-age."

Buffybot frowned. "Angel's lame. His hair grows straight up and he's bloody stupid."

"Ooo-kay. So maybe not Angel miss-age." Willow glanced around conspiratorially. "Listen, Buff, I know you've got a new guy. Who is he? In our grade, our school? Do I know him?"

Buffybot frowned. "Too many questions. I am unable to process and answer all of them at once."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Buffy! Stop beating around the—"

"Guys, I'm all alone out there. Somebody has to dance with me."

Willow jumped guiltily. "W-well, we _are_ studying," she pointed out.

"C'mon, one dance. You've been studying nearly twelve minutes."

Buffybot smiled happily and got up, helping Xander drag Willow out of her seat before she could begin to protest. Dancing was good. As long as Xander didn't try to touch her inappropriately. Willow too, for that matter.

__

I did a stupid thing last night. 

I called you-- 

A moment of weakness. 

No, not a moment— 

More like three months of weakness… 

Buffybot danced to the music, swaying to the beat. She felt something a little strange, like a part of her program that had been partially deactivated was sending her main system a message. A fragmented message that Willow had disabled from being fully broadcast during her last service.

__

I'm one step away from crashing to my knees, 

One step away from spilling my guts to you. 

__

I'm doing all right. 

No, don't feel sorry for me— 

Really I'm all right. 

I'm one step away from crashing to my knees… 

"Where's the phone? I need to call the police. There's some big guy out there trying to bite somebody."

Willow's eyes widened, as did Xander's. They turned to their friend, waiting for her to rush out into the night. But Buffybot was too preoccupied with trying to figure out what her built-in tracking device was telling her.

"Buffy," Willow hissed. "Vampire, outside!"

Buffybot blinked. "Oh, yes! Creatures of the night, beware! Buffy the Vampire Slayer is here!"

She strode out, very confused friends trailing behind.

Outside in the alley, Buffybot saw a vampire with a girl. He grabbed her neck and leaned close—

Buffybot grabbed his shoulder and pulled him off, effectively tossing him against a Dumpster. "Hey! It's not nice to bite people. Willow said so."

"Slayer!" the vampire growled, leaping to his feet and coming towards her.

"Slayee!" Buffybot replied with a bright smile. She landed a roundhouse kick to his face, but he only flinched, swinging at her. Buffybot sidestepped the blow, swinging her fist back at him.

He grabbed her arm, swinging her around and throwing her into a metal roll-up door, expecting a few moments leverage. No such luck.

She hit hard, but turned the fall downwards into a leap, landing on her feet. He punched her again, but she caught his fist.

The vampire screamed in pain as his hand was slowly crushed.

Just then, Xander and Willow arrived. 

Buffybot let go of his bloody, mangled hand and waved cheerfully to her friends. "Hi, friends of mine!"

During the lull in her attack, the vamp landed a surprise hit to the back of her head. Momentarily dazed with a sudden override in all her systems and thus a temporary overload in her sensory capabilities, Buffybot went down hard, staring up at the vampire blankly.

"I don't need to wait for St. Vigeous. You're mine!"

He leaned in for the bite. At which point the Slayer smiled widely and grabbed his neck with both hands.

"I'm Buffy. And you're history!" She tore the surprised vamp's head off.

Clapping. Willow and Xander stared in the direction the sound came from, utterly confused.

"Nice work, luv." A man with slicked-back, bleached hair in a long, leather trench coat stepped out, a cold smile on his face.

Buffybot beamed. "Spike! I-I want to hurt you, but I can't resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body. Oh, Spike, ravish me!" She practically threw herself at him.

The blond vampire's eyes widened and he took a few steps back.

"Oh, so _that's_ Mr. Mystery Guy," Willow remarked. "Your new boyfriend?" she asked Buffybot innocuously. Xander, meanwhile, was just looking confused.

"Spike, don't you want me?" Buffybot whimpered, putting on her best "pouty" face. 

The vampire's expression merely became more confused, with a slight edge of sheer terror. He began to slowly inch away. "Slayer, you're bloody crazy," he finally managed to croak. "I've never seen you in my sodding life. I don't know what the bloody hell you're talking about, or how you even know my na—"

He was cut off when Buffybot jumped on him, whipping out a stake and pressing it against his chest.

Realization that he had been a total fool swept across his face. Spike was mad. And also, majorly relieved. Better outsmarted and staked by a Slayer and have it all been just a ruse than…than…

"Are you gonna do it that way?" He forced himself to say. "Not even give a bloke a chance to fight back—"

"No," Buffybot interrupted with a grin. She threw off his duster and tore his shirt in half, pressing the hard tip of her stake above his heart. "This way."

Spike groaned mentally. This was some sadistic bitch of a Slayer. Pure evil. First get him so confused and terrified that he couldn't think straight. Then, jump and attack when he was vulnerable. He couldn't even move under her iron grip. Now, she couldn't even let him die with what dignity he had left. At least vampires couldn't blush.

"Do it already," he gritted out.

"I could never do it." She dropped the stake. "I'm helpless against you, you fiend." She snuggled up and his chest. "Darn your sinister attraction."

"ARRRGH!"

He summoned all his strength and managed to push the loony Slayer off. Rolling to his feet, Spike grabbed his prized coat and scrambled away as fast as he could.

Beyond humiliated, the vampire paused and looked back in the direction from where he had fled.

That little bitch was beyond infuriating. Searing his nerves with hot pokers. He could imagine her laughing with her friends over the events that had just passed. Murderous rage mingled with the shame and humiliation he felt.

"Just wait until Saturday, bitch. You're gonna die."


	7. School Hard Part 2

A/N: Sorry for the long time between updates! I'm working on another story right now, as well as juggling varying loads of schoolwork (drat that compendium!). For those of you that have no idea what I'm writing about, I suggest you watch "Intervention" in Season 5 (ahem, Kazi). Or you could always go to www.buffyworld.com if you're lazy (like me).

1997

Buffybot patrolled happily through the cemetery. Tomorrow night was Parent-Teacher Night, and she wanted her mom to be proud of what a great job she was doing with the decorations. Buffybot was glad that Willow had programmed all those art skills. She had only spilled the paint twice and the other Willow had assured her that she could get the blue paint out of her white carpet. Then she had nicely suggested that Buffybot go out to patrol while she and Xander finished the banners.

What nice friends she had.

What Buffybot wanted to do right now was find Spike, of course. And her internal tracking led her here.

And yet, Spike was nowhere to be seen.

"Spike? Where are you?" she called out again. "It's dark and scary and I need your extremely sexy yet manly—"

"What is your bloody problem?!" He stepped out from behind the Alpert crypt, practically livid. Well, as livid as a corpse could be. "Can't we just fight, get it over with?"

Buffybot gave him what she thought was a sultry smile. If vampires could pee…

Buffybot advanced on her hapless victim. "Ready for a little rough and tumble?" she asked breathily, shrugging off her jacket.

The vampire backed away rapidly, until he was flattened against a nearby crypt wall, unable to back away further.

"Hold it right there," he choked out. "Slayer, are you mental?"

Buffybot just gave him a brilliant smile and advanced…

2001

Buffy strolled through the cemetery, waiting to be pulled back at any minute. Just any minute now.

She stopped walking and sighed, impatiently tapping her heeled boots on the ground. What was taking so long? She wanted to be with her friends…the friends in her own time. Everyone here was super-nice and all, but there was so much that she didn't understand. So much they weren't telling her.

Hmm. Where could she go pass the time? Buffy smiled to herself. The Bronze was always a good choice on any night of the week. 

She sighed. There really was nowhere else to be. She didn't really want to go back to the house and be with her family and friends. Family and friends who were practically strangers.

And not to mention the temptation that was always lurking around. Why did she have to go for those lurky types? Why not settle down with a nice, normal guy or something?

FLASH!

Buffybot looked around in confusion.

"Where did he go?"

She sighed sadly, then headed back for Revello Drive. How had the vampire been able to get over there so very quickly?

Maybe Willow would know. Willow, after all, was her best friend. And recently gay.

1997

Buffy jumped away like she had touched a hot plate. Her face flushed more brightly than her best friend's hair.

"I-I…um…"

The vampire that had previously been pinned to the ground by robotic strength scrambled up and fastened the buttons of his prized duster. His black T-shirt was ripped to shreds, a casualty of war.

"That's it! No sodding Slayer is worth this."

"W-wait!" Buffy called out, confused. "Um, I'm really sorry for whatever might have happened. I swear, if I didn't know better, I would have thought I got zapped back to 1997 or something, but that can't be right 'cause you're here, right? Anyway, I'm babbling. The thing is, I was just patrolling, _I swear_, and suddenly I'm here, straddling you and umm…"

Spike just stared at the small blond girl. Something was slightly off about her. She was…different. Not in just a schizophrenic way. 

"Let's just get this over with," he gritted out. "You, me, fight. No cheating, no dirty tricks. No following a bloke around and straining his nerves."

"Um, Spike, I'm really, really sorry. Really. I swear. And I definitely wasn't stalking you. No way," she babbled. "I mean, I like you. I really do. But you knew that already, right?"

He snorted. "Sure got a way of showing it," he muttered darkly.

Buffy didn't hear. "But I'm not following you around or anything. 'Cause I know you like the Buffy from 2001, not me. So that's why I really want Willow to get her ingredients together…so I can be back. For good." She blushed and drew in a big breath, gathering courage. "So I can get together with you…the other you."

Spike just stared at the insane Slayer babbling in front of him. Bloody hell was she twisted…

"And I'm sure you want this to be over, too, so that you can get together with the other Buffy. And I'm really sorry if I did anything inappropriate."

As confused and shocked as Spike had been, nothing terrified him more when the Slayer suddenly stepped forth and gave him a hug. Nothing overwhelming or passionate like she had been mere minutes ago.

Just a friendly hug.

"I guess I'll see you later," she said, slightly abashed. Then the girl ran off through the tombstones.

Spike stared off after her. He couldn't fathom this one, try as he might. Infuriating, yes. Utterly annoyingly exasperating. Truly a terrifying specimen. Just wait until Saturday.

Yet as he walked back toward the Factory to be with his dark princess, a part of the vampire thought still of her soft vanilla fragrance as her small, soft body enveloped his in a gentle embrace. And he could easily imagine that same body in different positions, much like the ones she had forced him into earlier…

These feelings were wrong, utterly and completely. Drusilla was his only love, after all. But the Slayer! Her influence still lingered. She had polluted his mind; she was destroying him from the inside out.

Maybe he should kill her before St. Vigeous. 

2001

"Buffybot! How was your trip?" Willow asked, seeing the blank smile on the Slayer's face as she walked into the door. "Remember what we said about facial expressions?"

Buffybot shook her head, still smiling. "No, Willow, my best friend. You're recently gay." She looked around. "Where is Spike? I was about to have lots of sex with him, but he disappeared."

The redheaded witch blanched. "W-what? What are you talking about? Bottie, did you have a memory glitch?"

Buffybot shook her head, still cheerful. "Oh, no! When that nasty vampire attacked me in the alley, he cleared up a few memory blocks and enabled the disabled functions. That's all."

Willow shook her head, still puzzled. "Vampire…alley…where?"

"Outside the Bronze," Buffybot replied happily. "He said something about St. Vigeous. Maybe it's important. Should I tell Guy-iles?"

Willow grew paler and shook her head frantically. "No! No, don't tell Guy-iles…uh, Giles…anything. Are you sure he mentioned St. Vigeous?"

Buffybot nodded. "Yes, I'm completely certain." Then she grinned mischievously. "And Spike was there, too. He was playing hard-to-get."

"Uh, what do you mean by that?" Willow asked nervously, swallowing the growing lump in her throat. This was bad, very bad. Time travel was so dangerous because of the chance that one might accidentally change events in the past. "Did-did he happen to say anything to you? Did you talk to him?"

Buffybot's face blanked as she began to replay the audio.

__

"[Sounds of clapping.]

'Nice work, luv.'

'Spike! I-I want to hurt you, but I can't resist the sinister attraction of your cold and muscular body. Oh, Spike, ravish me!'

[A thump. Flesh on flesh.]

'Oh, so that's_ Mr. Mystery Guy. Your new boyfriend?'_

'Spike, don't you want me?'

'Slayer, you're bloody crazy. I've never seen you in my sodding life. I don't know what the bloody hell you're talking about, or how you even know my na—

[Another thump.]

'_Are you gonna do it that way_?_ Not even give a bloke a chance to fight back—_'

'No.'

[A sound of fabric ripping.]

'This_ way.'_

'Do it already.'

'I could never do it.'

[A clatter of something falling to the ground.]

'I'm helpless against you, you fiend. Darn your sinister attraction.'

'ARRRGH!'

[Another thump. Sounds of running.]"

Buffybot gave Willow a wide smile. "End playback," she announced proudly. "Now where's Spike?"

Willow sighed, beginning to massage her forehead. "That vamp must have hit you harder than you thought. Bottie, let's go get you fixed up. And don't ever tell _anyone_ what you just showed me."

1997

Parent-teacher night.

Buffy was doling out drinks into cups, trying to make things as perfect as possible. No big bad demons tonight. No apocalypse she had to fight. Just her own skin to save.

Willow walked over, with a cheerful smile and long red hair. Buffy had missed that in the older version of her friend.

"What kinda punch did you make?"

"Uh, lemonade." Buffy promptly gave her a cup. "I made it fresh and everything," she said proudly.

"How much sugar did you use?" Willow asked, taking a small sip. She made a face and quickly put the cup down while Buffy remained oblivious.

"Sugar?"

"It's very good," Willow said, trying to sound sincere and failing miserably. But her friend didn't notice, trying with all her might to make this night a perfect one for her mom.

"Okay, now all I have to do is keep my mother and Snyder from crossing paths for the rest of the night."

Willow glanced behind Buffy and immediately put on a big smile. "Hi, Mrs. Summers!"

Buffy's eyes widened as she turned to face Joyce.

"Hi, Willow. Hi, honey. Did you, uh, do all this?" 

"Yeah! Um, here, have some lemonade. Right after Willow shows you the library. I have to stay here and hostess." She raised her eyebrows in the direction of the rat-like man approaching this way.

Willow got the message. "Great, the library. Uh, um, ooh, no, G-Giles and everyone..."

"...Is locked in there studying. Right. French class it is!"

She smiled brightly as Willow led her unsuspecting mother away, then sighed, deflating slightly as her heart rate slowed to normal. Giles was researching on St. Vigeous and Snyder had been so close to—

"Was that your mother?"

Buffy grabbed a cup and a ladle full of lemonade and turned toward him. "Here."

She "accidentally" spilled the drink. Anything for a delay. "Oh! Oh, sorry! Um, yeah! Yeah, I was gonna introduce you, but, um, she wouldn't have said much. Y'know, she doesn't speak a word of English."

The principal didn't exactly believe her. He gave Buffy a suspicious glare and moved in the direction Willow had taken her mother.

Buffy glanced up at the clock. Just 6:15. Almost three hours of pure torment left…

2001

Buffybot cheerfully set the table, taking care to make everything perfect, even adding a centerpiece.

"Bottie! We do _not_ put the houseplants on the table!" Willow quickly maneuvered the potted tree off the table and back into the corner. "I know you're trying, Bottie, but try not to overdo it, okay?"

Buffybot didn't understand why here recently gay best friend was so impatient and perplexed today. Usually it took more than a simple mistake to cause Willow to raise her voice.

"I'm sorry, Will—"

FLASH!

Willow groaned. So _not_ what she needed right now.

"—I have at least three lives to contend with, none of which really mesh. It's kind of like oil and water and—oh, hi, Willow. Thank God I'm back here. Talking with Cordelia on Parent-Teacher Night? _Not_ fun."

The redheaded witch just stared, all anxieties gone. Gone and replaced by new fears.

"P-parent-Teacher Night?" she stammered, seeming for a moment like the babbling Willow Buffy knew and loved.

Her friend nodded. "Yeah. What about it?"

Willow sighed. Oh, boy. "Um, well…"

The back door opened. A bleached-blond vampire trudged in, setting the take-out on the kitchen counter. 

Willow gulped. She was so caught up in her own problems that she didn't see the Slayer next to her blush a deep crimson.

1997

"Hi. I'm Joyce Summers. I'm Buffy's mother." 

Buffybot merely smiled, seeing Mrs. Summers, her biological ancestor, offer her hand to the rat-like principal.

He ignored her gesture. "Principal Snyder. I'm afraid we need to talk. My office is down here."

Buffybot watched them walk away with a bright smile on her face. The brunette next to her mirrored her expression.

"When they're done talking...My guess? Tenth high school reunion, you'll still be grounded."

Buffybot looked at her for a moment as the information processed. 

"You're Cordelia! You're a cheerleader. And you work with Angel in LA. He's lame and his hair grows straight up."

Cordelia narrowed her eyes. "What drugs are _you_ taking?"

"Cordelia, have some lemonade," Willow suggested kindly, ever the problem solver. Buffybot gave her a dazzling smile.

"You're my best friend! You're very smart."

Willow smiled sheepishly. "No big. We all have Cordelia-related problems."

Just then, Principal Snyder walked back with Joyce Summers. He looked oddly smug; she looked furious.

"In the car, now."

Buffybot smiled and nodded happily. "Of course, Mom." She started to follow her mother out. 

When suddenly a large window exploded inwards. 

Two vampires burst through. 

More and more followed them, until a small gang of them assembled in a rather orderly fashion. Like everyone else in the room, Buffybot stared at these new arrivals. But not with fear or panic, but rather adoration. 

And lust. Don't forget the lust.

"What can I say? I couldn't wait," the lead vampire said with a cocky smirk.

That was the wrong thing to say.


	8. School Hard Part 3

A/N: I'm running a little low on inspiration for this right now. So here's what I have so far; I promise to continue ASAP!

2001

"Parent-Teacher Night?" Spike repeated, looking a little bemused. "What the bloody hell are you talking about?"

Willow winced. "Uh, remember, the fall of '97, week before St. Vigeous…"

"Oh." His eyes widened. "Bollocks!"

Buffy watched this exchange with growing confusion. "Uh…time out for a sec. What are you talking about? St. Veggie, blah, blah, Parent-Teacher Night, blah, blah. Huh?"

Willow cringed. "It's St. Vigeous, although I don't think he was ever canonized by the Catholic Church…anyways, uh, you see, there was…um, an incident. A couple of years back. Sophomore year, high school. On, uh…Parent-Teacher Night."

"What happened?"

"Gang of vampires tried to kill everyone in the school?" Willow suggested.

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Okay…"

"Uh, I showed up in town. Tried to kill you. Funny story, really."

The vampire's nostalgic smile died away as the two girls glared at him. "What? Those were good times."

Willow rolled her eyes and turned to the nervous blond Slayer.

"Point is, I don't think what's supposed to happen, happened. Not exactly. Bottie—our Buffy—must've messed some stuff up."

Meanwhile, Buffy had just began to process what Spike had said earlier. His past self was in Sunnydale. And he was trying to kill her…

"Oh my God!" Buffy yelped, clapping her hands to her mouth, staring at the vampire in horror. "That wasn't you! Well, yeah, but not really…oh crap! I can't believe I was straddling a total stranger in the cemetery—"

"Wait a bloody minute. You were _straddling_—"

Buffy covered her face with her hands, utterly mortified. "Oh, God!"

1997

"What can I say? I couldn't wait."

She couldn't wait, either. Buffybot felt a surge of happiness that almost overloaded her circuits. She knew it! She'd always known that Spike had never truly stopped returning her affections; he'd merely been waiting for the right time to "shag her senseless," as he so eloquently once put it.

With a happy squeal, she launched herself at him—and was intercepted by two ugly minions.

"Vampires of the world beware," she yelled, kicking one in the face and dodging the blows of another. Scarce a moment later, Bottie had torn off both of their heads.

"Buffy, your mom!"

Buffybot turned quickly at the sound of her recently to-be gay best friend's voice. Her mother was getting backed into a corner with the other adults by a group of vampires. That was bad.

She had to save her biological ancestor. That was important. But so was Spike…

"Nobody gets out! Especially the girl!" 

Well, she could have hot, sweaty sex with him later.

Buffybot jumped into the fray and quickly dispatched the vampires near the adults, leaving them—especially Joyce Summers—completely shell-shocked.

"This way," she called out cheerfully, grasping her mother's hand and pulling her into the hallway on the right. "Everybody, get away from the vampires!" The adults followed as quickly as they could.

No one paused to ask her what the hell she was talking about in the frenzy. And then…

Ooh, look, a science classroom!

"In here! Now!" Bottie called out, shooing the people into the room. She waited till they were all gone, then jumped in herself and closed the door, shoving a file cabinet against it. She smiled brightly. They were safe. So now she could go find Spike and make sure he was "safe," too.

"Who are those people, and what do they want?" a balding man asked.

"I didn't get much of a look, but is there something wrong with their faces? I—" Joyce started to say.

"Yes! PCP! It's a gang on PCP! We've gotta get out of here," the small, rat-like man yelled. He pushed a desk in front of the window and began to climb.

Buffybot could tell that there were more vampires outside, thanks to Willow's additions to her basic software. And although she didn't really mind the annoying little principal being eaten, she knew that it would be wrong.

"You can't go outside. They'll kill you," she said matter-of-factly.

"You don't tell me! I tell you!" he hissed back.

Buffybot was getting annoyed. She grabbed the man's arm and lifted him off the desk and set him—very gently—on the ground.

"There are bad, bad vampires outside. Not all of them are nice and cuddly—and evil and sexy, of course—like my Spikey. So you should all stay in here where you're nice and safe until it's safe to come out."

The adults were actually listening, listening to her! Buffybot liked the feeling.

"Who do you think you are?"

"I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer!" she chirped happily. With that, Bottie turned to walk across the room, her internal processor having already figured out the best way to get around the school and find Spike.

Joyce grabbed her by the shoulders. "Buffy, are you crazy? Those-those people, I don't know what they are, but those guys are serious! You can't go out there!"

Buffybot gave her a dazzling smile. "I'm going up there! I'm going to find Spike!"

She grabbed a stool from a lab bench and set it down, then climbed up—

FLASH!

Buffy fell off the stool.

"Ow! What happened? Where am I?"

She peered at the assembled adults, at her mother staring with a very worried expression. Then her gaze turned to the closed door and she caught a glimpse of the vampires standing guard outside.

"Buffy, who's this 'Spike'? Is he older than you? Does he go to Sunnydale High?"

"Oh, sh—"

2001

"Uh, Bottie, what happened now?"

Buffybot blinked. It was now very bright and she was in her house again. And here was Willow, with shorter red hair and Spike, looking as sexy and evil as ever.

"I was in a room with lots of adults. And there were bad vampires outside. I told them to stay in the room while I went to find my Spikey!"

A moment of silence.

"Just great. The Bot's probably bollocked everything up…again," the vampire groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

"We can still fix it," Willow said quickly. "Um…I think we can, at least. Well, Buffy went back, and she's probably doing what she should be doing. I think."

Meanwhile, Buffybot was giving the peroxide vampire sultry smiles and smoldering looks.

"Bottie, I thought we got you to cut that out," the redheaded witch said desperately, shooting the victim of Buffybot's attacks an apologetic look. "Come on upstairs; I'll do a little tweaking."

Left alone in the kitchen, Spike ran his hands through his gelled hair and wondered what the hell he had ever done that warranted something like this.

1997

Buffy's heart pounded loudly in her ears. She just hoped it wasn't audible to the vampires searching for her.

"Someone's in the ceeeeeiling!" 

Oh, crap. The voice, familiar yet too cold and cruel to belong to the vampire she knew, chilled the Slayer to her very bones.

She was almost there. Almost to the library, unless she was off. No, she was there. Buffy kicked the vent cover down and dropped to the ground.

Ms. Calendar backed away a bit in surprise. And Giles…why, Giles had an ax! And he was swinging it towards her before he could stop himself. Only Slayer reflexes saved her from becoming shish kebobbed. By her own Watcher, no less. That would have been embarrassing.

"Buffy!" He lowered the ax. "You're all right!"

"More or less," she muttered, slipping off her sweater. Too warm.

"How are the others?" Ms. Calendar asked.

The Slayer frowned. She hadn't seen Ms. Calendar in the future world. Maybe the computer teacher had gone to LA as well. It seemed an awful lot of people went there.

"Principal Snyder, my mother and four others are locked in the science room across the hall. I don't know if they're…where's Willow and Xander? And Cordelia?"

"Oh dear. You haven't seen Willow and Cordelia?" The Watcher began to clean his glasses.

"No, I haven't. But I think they're okay. Hopefully. Where's Xander?"

"He got out through the stacks. He's getting Angel."

Buffy resisted the urge to roll her eyes. What good could the bloody Poof ever do?

She paused mid-thought. For a moment she wondered if she'd been hanging around the other Spike too much.

Nah. Back to the problem at hand…

"Uh, good. Okay, I'm gonna take the vamps out in the hall. After that you get my mother and the others out the same way." She let the computer teacher help her shove stakes and crosses into the bag she found on the ground.

"Let me help you," Giles ventured.

"Giles, my mother's in that room. If I don't make it out of here, I know you'll make sure she does."

She couldn't have him around during the battle. Not only would that increase his chances of dying, it would also make things even more complicated. She only hoped she would be able to fight Spike when it came down to it. Because if she held back, she was probably gonna be toast.

"Bloody right I will. Fair enough. What's your plan?"

Plan? What plan? Buffy hesitated for a moment, then settled for the easiest and most direct route of action.

"Well, they split up to hold us here, so I'm gonna take 'em one on one. Set 'em up and knock 'em down." 

Buffy grabbed a stool and put it under the hole in the ceiling. She climbed up and began to crawl again, determined.

"Watch your back!"

2001

The vampire was pacing again. He paced across the living room, then doubled back and retraced his steps. 

The witch. Magic had consequences; it always did. He'd thought that a smart young Wiccan like Red would know that. She should've taken that into consideration before _bloody well trying to raise the dead._

Now see what's happened. The sodding Bot got switched with Buffy from the past. 

And it doesn't even end there. Once in a while, usually every couple of hours, they switched places. Back and forth. Why? Because Red's mojo wasn't completely up to par, that's why. Between trying to make sure Buffy didn't learn anything about the future and trying to prevent the Bot from causing too much damage in '97…

And the whole mess gets even better when the Bot randomly decides to go haywire. Which basically meant that the fabric of time had probably already been irreparably damaged, and everyone was waiting for the effects to happen.

For a brief moment, Spike wondered if tearing his hair out by the roots could be considered "overreacting."

It wasn't that he didn't like the younger and nicer version of the Slayer. He liked her, liked her the same way he liked the Lil' Bit. 

The truth was, he'd fallen in love with the dead Slayer's darkness and experience as much as her strength and bubbly personality. And this little girl had none of that darkness. This was Virgin Buffy—virgin in all senses of the word—, before life and love had taken its toll. Before the years had hammered and molded her into the woman he still loved.

All this girl did was remind him of what he had lost—what he'd never really had.

He tried not to feel jealous of Peaches.

"Uh, Spike?" 

Red's voice, calling uncertainly from upstairs, jerked him out of his thoughts.

"What is it now?" he asked suspiciously, not exactly liking her tone. Taking the steps three at a time, the vampire reached the bedroom at record speed. He didn't slow as he smelled the acrid scent of melted plastic and metal wafting through the open door.

The witch smiled nervously, her eyes darting to the bed.

The bed, where the Bot lay, her face blank, her stomach open, black smoke pouring from the visible wiring.

TBC


	9. School Hard Part 4

A/N: Sorry if this is shorter than usual. Next one will (hopefully) be longer.

2001

For a moment, all Spike could do was stare. Then he found his voice.

"What the bloody hell did you—"

FLASH!

Buffy yelped and fell off the bed, immediately rolling to her feet and assuming a defensive stance.

Willow held her hands up. "Hey, Buffy! Chill!"

The Slayer took a few minutes to calm down as her gaze darted around the room. She slowly lowered her arms.

"So I'm…back?"

The redheaded witch flinched before she realized what the Slayer meant. She nodded guiltily. But Buffy's attention wasn't focused on her.

"Hey! You were trying to kill me!" she yelled, pointing an accusing finger at the vampire by the door. "I was trying my hardest to not kill _you_, but you didn't seem to have any qualms about bashing my brains in with that block of wood." Her mouth dropped open in horror. "Oh God! What if you got the other Buffy?"

Spike gave a wan smile. "Shouldn't hold back, luv. Besides, it didn't work out last time. Your mum got me with an ax."

The girl wore an expression of complete bemusement.

1997

He raised the wooden stud and prepared to slam it into the Slayer as she lay there, helpless for that one moment, open to the killing blow. 

And he…hesitated.

There was no reason to pause, to give his enemy time to shed her vulnerability. But he paused just the same. Long enough to sidestep the ax hurtling toward the back of his head. Barely sparing a glance, he disarmed the woman and shoved her away, shaking off his funk. Prepared to snuff out the Slayer once and for all.

FLASH!

And all of a sudden, she…changed. She was suddenly staring up at him with a completely blank and unblinking gaze, a plastic smile more befitting a store mannequin on her too-red lips. And…was that a new hairdo?

But a slight variation in hair coloring wasn't what caused the small gasp from the woman who had had the ax. Perhaps she was alarmed at the smoke pouring from the Slayer's midsection. And maybe the wiring visible beneath a peeled back slab of skin on the Slayer's belly had something to do with it as well.

"B-buffy?" Joyce called out hesitantly, slowing inching toward the prone robot.

The vampire backed away. This wasn't right. Only a moment ago, he could've sworn that the Slayer had been completely human. He could still remember the rapid pulsing of her heart and the smell of her innate intoxicating aroma mixed in with vanilla scent.

But now there was nothing. No smell of the Slayer but that which clung to her clothing. No smells other than the vague traces of other human scents and household items.

And one vampire. Spike sniffed the air very, very carefully. Yes, it was faint and would never be noticeable under different circumstances. One could only find it if one was specifically looking for it. 

But it was there. A very faint smell, worn and covered by a million other things, especially the smoke that continued to billow out of the robot's midsection. But the smell still lingered, seemingly buried deep within the machine.

He cocked his head, trying to figure out just why the scent was so familiar in such an ambiguous way. He knew he'd smelled it before, but…

"Spike!" one of the idiots supposedly guarding the perimeter yelled. "Cops!"

The bleached vampire spared another glance at the robot before fleeing the scene.

2001

Willow was pacing. Back and forth, back and forth, swinging a screwdriver all the way.

"I'm sure your Buffy can take care of herself," the Slayer said uncertainly. She glanced at the vampire in the corner. "I mean, she's fought you before, right?"

"Uh, right. Of course."

The Slayer narrowed her eyes. There was definitely some stuff these people weren't telling her about her future self. Like every time she asked a question about their Buffy, one of them always changed the subject. 

It was almost as if—

FLASH!

Buffybot lay on the ground, staring up with a frozen, empty smile, the skin on her belly still peeled back.

Willow rushed to her, screwdriver ready for action.

1997

Buffy leapt up, off the ground. Right into her mother.

"Oh! Mom, hey!"

Joyce backed away till she hit the wall, eyes wide.

"Uh…or not?"

Her mother shook her head, bemused relief shining in her eyes. "B-buffy, I, I must have been hallucinating or something from all the chaos going on. Never mind that. Are you all right? Did you run into that gang on PCP?"

"Hey, Mom, it's okay. Everything's all right. Wait…" The Slayer frowned, wheels beginning to turn in her head. 

__

If they_ won't tell me…_

"Um, what exactly did you think you saw?"

Joyce shook her head again. "It was the strangest thing. I-I got here a few minutes ago, and there was this gangster, about to hit you…and then, you weren't you anymore. Well, you were, only…not _you_, exactly."

Buffy's frown only grew. "So what did you think I was?"

Her mother sighed. "A machine or something. Your stomach was open…and there were wires and blinking lights. And smoke."

The Slayer's mouth dropped open.

__

A robot.

Meanwhile…

"Spike, did she hurt you?"

Undead throats do not suddenly grow dry or close up.

"It was close, baby, but…"

"Oh, come here."

His Dark Princess, his Black Goddess, lay her head upon his shoulder. And pushed him away with a sudden snarl, eyes wide with rage.

"It's all falling apart!"

Spike took a tentative step forward.

"Dru?"

Her pale hand darted forth, faster than the eye could see. When it withdrew, several lines of crimson laced his cheek.

"Dru!"

"You lie," she hissed, slinking away. "Slayer's a metal dolly, hmm? And you want to play."

The unsettling hint of shameful truth in her words stung more than the bloody welts on his face.

"Dru, I—"

"Shh! No talking. It's not your turn, my bad, bad boy. You've been a naughty one, like that horrible little Slayer. She's tangling the threads…I can see them, all caught and twisted like a spider web in a storm."

Now she lost him. The blond vampire shook his head in confusion. "Luv, what are you ranting on about?"

She sneered, a frighteningly lucid look suddenly appearing in her eyes. "You know what I'm talking about, my Spike. Little dollies smelling like vanilla." Just as suddenly, her anger dissipated. "But that's all right, dear." She smiled, her mind already gone. "It's not too late."

Slinking back towards Spike, Drusilla licked the already-healing gashes on his bleeding cheek.

"It's _his_ dead seed in the pretty dolly. _He_'s lost forever. But you, my sweet, you can still be saved. You're still my knight."

She drew back and grinned.

"Kill her now, my Spike, and everything will be all right. We can have strawberry crumpets."

He smiled a bit uncertainly at her. "Whatever you say, Dru. Right, then. Oh…how's the Annoying One?"

Dru gave a small pout. "He doesn't wanna play."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Figures. Well, suppose I better go make nice."

Walking over to the cluster of minions gathered around the Anointed One, the bleached vampire tried to assume a serious and somewhat polite manner.

"You failed." Such an icy voice from an innocent little face. 

"I, uh…I offer penance," Spike replied, trying to be reasonable.

"Penance?!" a vampire by the Anointed's side roared. "You should lay down your life! Our numbers are depleted, the feast of St. Vigeous has been _ruined_ by your impatience!"

"I was rash, and if I had to do it all over again..." Spike laughed, unable to play the charade any longer. After the unsettling little episode with Dru and the discovery that something was very wrong with this Slayer, he needed some fun.

"Who am I kidding? I would do it exactly the same, only I'd do this first."

He grabbed the little boy and carried him to the cage suspended in midair, reveling in the small limbs flailing uselessly, the small voice crying out in fear. The vampires who tried to rush to the Anointed's aid were no match for him.

Locking the door, Spike jerked the chain, grinning as the cage rose higher and higher…directly below the unshaded window near the ceiling.

"From now on, we're gonna have a little less ritual and a little more fun around here," he announced almost pleasantly. Then, without warning, he gave the chain a jerk.

With a piercing scream, there was nothing left of the boy once known as Collin but a few particles of dust drifting down towards the ground, silhouetted by beautiful and very deadly rays of sunlight. For a moment, Spike could've sworn the dancing sunshine had a hint of vanilla musk.

But he shook that off. With a smirk, Spike held out his hand to his vampiric paramour, his sire. 

His one and only love in this world.

"Let's go see what's on TV."

TBC


End file.
